Uhhh. Thank ya, Jesus?!

Okay so this has been on my heart for the past two or three days. But I believe I went through a much greater shift, both internally and externally, than I really think I understand since coming to that brand new understanding about love and how I hadn't been allowing myself to receive it.

No, I don't have a life partner yet, lmfao. And I'm not even dating but I feel like a huge part of myself that has been closed off for so long is finally allowing himself to be free and joyous. Idk. I wish I could better explain this feeling, but it's been overwhelmingly positive ever since it's happened. Idk what events I've set in motion, idk what exactly I have changed in my inner or outer life (aside from the obvious) but something in me feels borderline magical and positive. But idk what.

That's not where I was originally going with this, I don't think. But that's okay. This is fine too. I'm just really grateful that I had such a powerful moment. Because I can still feel the positive ripples and waves it's created. I'm eager to see what brand new manifestations occur as a result.

OH! Speaking of eager, I DID want to comment on just how much I have changed over the course of just a year. Last year, I was a total ice bitch (as I had been for YEEAAARRRSSS). I mean, it was bad. My response to relationship anything was essentially "Just say no." Like, literally that was my answer. Just don't bother with it because it's not actually worth it... And now here I am, all at once, eager about the idea of allowing myself to be loved and to love someone else.

Like, full blown eager. I was telling God I am excited to meet whoever my future husband is gonna be. I'm excited to have someone who's just as willing to get to learn me and all of my nuances and idiosyncrasies as I am to learn them and theirs. Like, I have never felt sooo positively about love and romance as I do now and I actually never thought I ever would. As in, it never crossed my mind to ever think positively about love. But I guess that's what happens God wants to hem you up.

Bye y'all.